“You okay?”
They strapped me into a harness over a treadmill.
My legs dangled. My heart hammered.
“You okay?” Miguel asked.
I nodded, tears in my eyes.
“I’m just doing something my uncle wanted me to do,” I said.
I stood with most of my weight on my own legs for a few seconds.
The machine started.
My muscles screamed. My knees buckled. The harness caught me.
“Again,” I said.
We went again.
***
Last week, for the first time since I was four, I stood with most of my weight on my own legs for a few seconds.
It wasn’t pretty. I shook. I cried.
Do I forgive him?
But I was upright.
I could feel the floor.
In my head, I heard Ray’s voice: “You’re gonna live, kiddo. You hear me?”
Do I forgive him? Some days, no.
Some days, all I feel is what he wrote in that letter.
He didn’t run from what he did.
